Few phrases sting more than, “Why didn’t you tell me?” – especially when it’s about someone’s performance. As a leader, that question can expose a painful truth: a missed opportunity to provide timely performance feedback, guide, support, or intervene. If someone’s falling short, they deserve the chance to improve. But that chance is only possible when we have the courage to speak up and deliver honest, constructive performance feedback.
Performance conversations aren’t always comfortable, but they are essential. Avoiding them lets small issues grow into big problems. Tackling them early builds trust, drives improvement, and creates a culture of accountability and fairness. So, how do you make sure you never get caught in that regretful moment?
Make Performance Feedback A Priority
It’s easy to get caught up in deadlines and daily fires and let performance feedback slip. But the thing is, performance conversations are your work as a leader – not interruptions to it. When performance feedback becomes part of your regular routine, you signal that growth and accountability aren’t optional, moreover they’re expected.
Leaders who embed performance feedback in their daily interactions build a psychologically safe environment where performance is openly discussed and actively supported, and not just assessed.
Communicate Early, Communicate Often
Top leaders don’t wait for annual reviews to speak up. They celebrate every win (including the small ones), and they address challenges in real time. For these leaders, performance feedback is a habit, not a one-off event. Regular check-ins uncover issues early and prevent misunderstandings. They create a culture where performance feedback is valued not feared.
Think like a coach, not a boss: give immediate, ongoing performance feedback to help your people learn and improve, rather than waiting to correct after the fact.
Why Do We Avoid the Hard Stuff?
Often, it’s conflict avoidance, the urge to dodge tension to keep the peace. But avoiding tough conversations and performance feedback rarely preserves harmony. Instead, it fuels underperformance, resentment, and wasted potential.
Silence chips away at morale and trust, lowers standards, and slows productivity. Sure, avoidance feels easier short-term, but the long-term cost is far worse.
Get Clear on What’s Hard
When a conversation feels tough, ask yourself – what exactly am I avoiding? The topic? The person? Their reaction? Or just the discomfort of confrontation?
Knowing what’s holding you back lets you prepare better. Clarify your message, consider your relationship, and remind yourself that conflict is part of leadership—not a personal failure. Naming the source of resistance helps you lead with intention and have clearer, more productive conversations around performance feedback.
Be Fair, and Firm
People can’t fix what they don’t know is broken. Avoiding performance feedback out of fear only weakens your team. Clear, fair performance feedback delivered consistently and aligned with shared values is empowering.
When everyone, including you, is held to the same standard, you build trust and strengthen your leadership credibility.
Catch Issues Early
Most performance problems start small: missed details, vague communication, slipping energy or quality. A quick, curious check-in providing performance feedback early can prevent a future crisis. Early conversations show your team you’re engaged and invested in their success.
Noticing and naming issues early doesn’t mean micromanaging, moreover it means you’re paying attention. By showing up early with curiosity, not criticism, you create a culture where feedback is normalised, and corrections feel supportive rather than punitive. This approach builds trust and keeps performance on track without drama or delay.
Practice Makes Progress
Like any leadership skill, difficult conversations and performance feedback get easier with practice. The first few might feel awkward, that’s normal. What matters is your presence and willingness to engage.
Over time, your confidence grows and so does your team’s openness to feedback. Practice helps you find your voice, calibrate your tone, and learn what works. The more feedback becomes part of everyday leadership, the more it’s seen as an investment in growth rather than a signal something’s wrong.
Prepare and Stay Focused
Go into each conversation with a clear purpose. Know what needs to change, why, and what you want to see going forward. Focus on behaviours, not personalities. Stick to facts and keep the conversation future-focused.
Even brief preparation can make a big difference. Jot down your key points, anticipate how the other person might respond, and be clear on what outcome you’re aiming for. The goal isn’t control it’s clarity. Preparation helps you stay grounded, especially when emotions run high.
Don’t Wait
If you’re hesitating, wondering it a conversation is needed – then chances are it’s well overdue. Difficult conversations never get easier, they only get harder – for everyone. The sooner you address issues, the better for everyone.
Giving performance feedback is like giving a gift. It shows you care enough to be honest, but more critically it gives people a opportunity to improve and grow. And it helps you lead with integrity, not avoidance.
When you delay, you risk sending the message that poor performance is acceptable. Timely feedback, on the other hand, shows you value the person and their success enough to speak up. That’s not just good leadership – it’s respectful, responsible leadership.
Key Takeaways on Performance Feedback
- Act Early: Don’t let small issues fester. Early intervention keeps problems manageable and shows you care.
- Be Fair: Consistency and clarity build trust and motivation.
- Keep Practicing: Feedback is a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
Need a hand with tough conversations?
If you want support navigating difficult conversations or strengthening your leadership communication, feel free to get in touch. We’re here to help.