As a new or first-time manager, one of the toughest challenges you’ll face is raising performance concerns with your team members. Whether it’s about missed deadlines, low-quality work, or issues with teamwork, addressing these concerns can feel uncomfortable, especially when you’re not sure what to say.
You’re not alone. Many managers, even experienced ones, feel this way. It’s completely normal to feel uncertain about how to approach these conversations, many managers face this challenge, regardless of experience. But here’s the good news, with a bit of practice and the right approach, you can raise performance concerns effectively, maintain trust with your team, and help them improve.
Not too long ago, I worked with a new manager who was struggling when it came to addressing a performance issue with one of her team members. She was struggling with knowing what to say. The team member had missed a few key deadlines, and she wasn’t sure how to bring it up without sounding too harsh or making things awkward.
We sat down together to prep for the conversation. I helped her focus on the specific behaviors (like the missed deadlines) rather than making it about the person. She knew the conversation was necessary, but she kept worrying it would turn into a big confrontation.
When the time came for the talk, she kept it simple and empathetic. She started with something like, “I know you’re a valuable part of the team, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page about expectations moving forward.” She then brought up the missed deadlines and asked, “What’s been going on? How can we work together to get this back on track?”
To her surprise, the conversation wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d feared. The team member opened up about some personal challenges that had been affecting his work, and they came up with a plan to improve things. Both of them walked away feeling better about the situation, and the manager felt much more confident about handling future performance talks without all the nerves.
Raising Performance Concerns
So, how do you shake off the nerves and raise performance concerns? Here are some simple, practical ways to help you through it.
1 Don’t Avoid the Conversation. First things first, avoiding the conversation might feel like the easier option, but it never works in the long run. When performance issues go unaddressed, they tend to grow, creating bigger problems down the road. Whether it’s resentment building up or poor habits taking root, ignoring the issue only makes it harder to tackle later.
It’s natural to feel anxious about the conversation, but think about it this way, by addressing it, you’re giving your team member the chance to improve and grow. You’re helping them succeed in the long run.
“Avoidance what?”. It’s a thing, it is called avoidance paradox.
The “avoidance paradox” is something many managers struggle with when it comes to performance concerns. It’s basically the habit of avoiding tough conversations because you’re worried about conflict or discomfort. While it might feel easier in the moment to let things slide, avoiding the issue often leads to bigger problems later.
Unresolved issues can grow, causing frustration, lower morale, and even disengagement within the team. By addressing the issue directly, you can prevent it from becoming a bigger challenge. Understanding the avoidance paradox and facing it head-on is key to keeping your team healthy and productive. This idea is explained in Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler.
2 Prepare Beforehand. Now, let’s talk about what to say. It’s important to be clear about the issue and how it affects the team or the business. Preparation is key to having a constructive conversation. Before you sit down with your team member, make sure you have all the facts. It’s essential to communicate expectations clearly from the beginning. When expectations are vague, it becomes harder to address performance issues later on. Think about:
- What specific behaviours are you concerned about?
- How has this behaviour impacted the team or project?
- What’s the desired outcome you want from the conversation?
Being clear about these points will makes the conversation smoother and help you avoid getting off track.
3 Use Clear and Direct Language. When it’s time for the conversation, aim for clear and direct communication. Avoid vague statements like “You’re not doing a good job” or “I’m disappointed in you.” These statements don’t provide any direction for improvement and might confuse your team member. Instead, focus on the specific behaviour that needs to change. For example:
“I noticed that the last two reports were submitted past the deadline.”
“I’ve observed that your contributions in team meetings have been limited lately.”
Be clear about what happened and how it’s impacting the team. This helps the team member understand exactly what the issue is.
4 Keep It Constructive, Not Personal. When raising performance concerns, always keep the conversation focused on the behaviour, not the person. Avoid making it feel like a personal attack. Instead of saying, “You’re lazy,” focus on specific actions like, “The project wasn’t completed on time, and we’ve missed deadlines because of it.” Acknowledge that mistakes happen, but stress that it’s the behaviour that needs to change, not the individual. Make it clear that you believe in their ability to improve and succeed.
5 Be Ready to Listen. This is a two-way conversation. After you’ve raised your concern, give your team member the opportunity to explain their side. Maybe they’ve been dealing with personal challenges or didn’t fully understand the expectations. Active listening shows that you care about their perspective and want to help them improve. Ask open-ended questions like:
“Can you tell me what challenges you’ve been facing?”
“How can I help you get back on track?”
This not only helps you understand the root cause of the issue but also builds trust and shows that you’re invested in their improvement and success.
6 Focus on Solutions. Once the issue is clearly laid out, shift the conversation toward solutions. Instead of just talking about the problem, focus on how things can improve moving forward. Ask questions like “What do you think would help you improve in this area?”, and “Is there any support you need from me or the team?” Together, you can come up with an action plan and set realistic goals for improvement. Make sure both you and the team member agree on the next steps and follow up regularly to track progress.
7 Stay Calm and Confident. It’s normal to feel nervous, but remember, you’re the manager. Your confidence and calm demeanour will set the tone for the conversation. If you stay calm, your team member will feel more comfortable, too. Even if the conversation gets tense, stay composed and focus on the goal which is helping your team member improve. Keep the conversation respectful and solution-oriented, and avoid getting defensive or emotional.
8 End on a Positive Note. Ending the conversation on a positive note is important. Reinforce your confidence in their ability to improve and express your support. You could say something like, “I know you’re capable of doing great work, and I’m here to support you. Let’s work together to get things back on track.” This leaves the conversation on a hopeful, motivating note, helping your team member feel supported rather than discouraged.
Final Thoughts
Raising performance concerns doesn’t have to be awkward or stressful. With the right approach, you can address issues constructively, respectfully, and in a way that helps both the individual and the team.
As a new manager, these conversations can feel daunting, but they’re an important part of your role. By preparing, staying calm, and focusing on solutions, you’ll not only help your team grow but also build trust and respect as a leader. So, take a deep breath, approach the conversation with confidence, and remember, you’ve got this!
If you’re ready to tackle performance concerns with more confidence and skill, or if you need support in refining your leadership style, don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here to help you grow as a leader. Talk to us today