Understanding How People Perceive You Is Important
Manager or not, how people perceive you is how they will respond to you. For many of us, how we perceive ourselves is vastly different to the way others perceive us.
For example, you may consider yourself to be an uber consultative manager with a contemporary democratic leadership style, whereas others may describe you an indecisive manager lacking confidence just wanting to please.
Often the biggest disparity in perceptions is seen in environments where feedback and communication is poor.
Understand How You Impact Others
The ability to understand how your actions and behaviour impacts others is key as a leader and manager. The reason why being, because as manager, the first thing you need to manage to be effective is yourself.
The better you understand how others perceive you, the more successful you will be in developing and adapting your behaviour as you have a greater level of self-awareness.
When we are self aware, we have a good sense of who we are. It provides insight into our strengths, and challenges which enables to us change and adapt when needed to improve our effectiveness.
Difference Is Good, If You See It
Everyone is different and that’s not just ok, it is actually really good.
Difference is part of what makes effective teams tick. The quicker a manager can recognise and understand the differences of each individual team member, the better they are able to manage both individual, and team performance.
We each have natural or more dominant behaviours, just as we each have a natural leadership style. Yours maybe a result of your personality, values or strengths, or perhaps your own experiences. The problem is, as good as it may be, the style you’re naturally inclined to may not always be appropriate.
Knowing Your Own Style Is Important
When you understand your own natural style and behaviours your self-awareness increases. Self-awareness gives you the ability to manage your own emotions and actions, and understand how they affect the emotions and actions of others.
There is nothing wrong with difference so long you can recognise it, and understand it so you can adapt and change as needed.
Case In Point
Many years ago I worked with a self described, very ‘enthusiastic’, and ‘passionate’ senior manager. He genuinely really loved his job and the company he worked for. This guy was so full on about his work, he basically operated up to eleven all of the time.
His colleagues however, would describe him as ‘intense’ and ‘completely OTT’, to the point no-one wanted to communicate with him, let alone work with him. They avoided him, and overtime, it affected his work and his team which was when I came in.
I was engaged to ‘fix’ the situation, and what I found was of little surprise.
The difference in his own perception of his leadership and behaviour to the perceptions of others was vast, it was extraordinary. He had no insight at all into his behaviour and how it was impacting others. For him, the problem was with everyone else.
The real problem however was that no-one had ever properly discussed his approach, and behaviour with him and how it was impacting.
Why? Because his strength was also his weakness. At the outset, his passion and enthusiasm was noticed, it was novel… it was tolerated. No-one wanted to dampen his enthusiasm. But over time that tolerance disappeared.
He has been left in the dark as to how damaging his ‘passion’ and ‘enthusiasm’ for the business was to his performance and career.
He had no understanding of how others perceived him, and therefore no understanding of how he was impacting them. Had he known, he could have done something about it sooner.
Had he known, he would have had the opportunity to curb his ‘enthusiasm’ and change, rather than being in the situation he was now.
Blind Spots, We’ve All Got Them
The difference in perceptions can be thought as ‘blind spots’. It’s the gap in information in what others know about you, but you don’t. Blind spots are a bit like noses, we’ve all got them but they vary in size.
As a leader and manager, if you have a large blind spot, your understanding of how your behaviour is impacting those you lead is poor. When your awareness is poor, your ability to motivate and engage those you lead will be negatively impacted.
Your ideal scenario is to reduce your blind spot and increase your level of self-awareness. The best way to gain an understanding of the perceptions of others is through feedback. To do this, you need to ask for it.
Ask For Feedback
Feedback is one of the most important activities you will undertake as a manager. But it is not always about you giving it, it is also about you asking for it. Feedback is crucial for self-development and building effective working relationships.
Feedback helps you to develop healthy professional relationships that are based on honesty, openness and transparency. When things are left unsaid in work, it can be detrimental to relationships and productivity.
When you ask for feedback you are choosing to learn more about yourself and to seek the advice of others, it shows you value and respect their thoughts and opinions. Showing value and respect for people’s thoughts and opinions is also improves your influence on others.
If you are making a habit of asking for feedback, and receiving it in the spirit intended, it will make the feedback process feel more normal and comfortable, for both you and those giving the feedback. It also makes it easier and more comfortable for you to give feedback.
Uncover Your Blind Spots
You can’t change or ‘fix’ something that you can’t see or don’t know about it. Having awareness and knowledge of what needs to change will help focus your effort and development. The best way to understand how people perceive you, and identify areas you need to work on or change is to ask.
Start with asking for feedback from your manager, then from those who are important to you and are in a position to see you in action. Don’t be put off at the prospect of discussing your weaker areas. While it isn’t always easy to hear change is needed, without it you won’t improve and grow.
While you may not agree with what you are hearing, it is important to listen respectfully, after all it is how ‘they’ perceive you.
Take the Time to Prepare
To get most out of the conversation, prepare in advance by reflecting on what specific skills or areas you want feedback on, and preparing questions to ask. The best questions will help you discover your strengths and areas for improvement for your current situation.
It is always a good idea to later reflect on feedback. Whether you agree with it or not, it has been given for a reason. You may want to restart the conversation for further clarity or explore ideas for change. You may even want to get the perspective of others.
Try Some Self Reflection
The ability to self reflect, while uncomfortable, is an important skill in itself. Most managers will uncover biases and patterns of behaviour that they need to manage around or change.
Behaviours that have worked for you in the past may no longer be appropriate, and may need to change as you progress and grow. A self-assessment can be a useful way to start to better understand yourself, and your management capabilities and where to focus your development.
If you have never reflected much on your natural style and behaviour, and how it impacts others – you are well overdue.
Don’t be the ‘enthusiastic’ and ‘passionate’ guy undermining his performance and career, take control of your success and get an understanding of how others perceive. What you discover might surprise you.